Why wait until the rise of the Zombies? Hire our firm to outfit your bunker to suit all your wildest dreams.

http://www.migaloo-submarines.com/

http://blog.geolsoc.org.uk/2011/10/07/top-5-volcanic-lairs-for-evil-geologists/

http://www.jwz.org/blog/2015/09/the-latest-supervillain-lair-for-sale-2/

And here’s how they work.

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2014/01/breathtaking_joshua_tree_supervillain_lair_for_sale_for_first_time_1.php

The California classic has midcentury beauty, rich history and it’d be just a two-hour commute

While many a volcano has flared up lately with maddening consequences, the cinder cone that hosts the “Volcano House” in Newberry Springs, Calif., offers nothing but cosmic, barren beauty. The creation of architect Harold J. Bissner Jr., the dome house has been sitting atop a 150-foot conical hill of volcanic fragments since 1968 and is now for sale, at $750,000. The 1,800-square-foot home—guarded by two caretakers whose faces have been sculpted by desertic whim—and its adjoining 60 acres belong to Huell Howser, the host of California’s Gold, the travel show for PBS affiliate KCET that highlights places of interest in California, often along remote paths. Howser became so popular that Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons, featured a “Howserian” character named Howell Huser in two episodes. Somehow HH also ended up on a bottle of Broguiere’s milk.

Initially the house was commissioned by Vard Wallace, an engineer who built a business selling drafting machines and airplane parts to the likes of Lockheed & Co. during World War II. Wallace, also an inventor who patented the first “skateboard” (a plank with wheels and a short pole for steering), picked the remote location as a tribute to his passions for trout fishing and astronomical pursuits. And perhaps to be close to his personal secretary, who had purchased several acres nearby. During the Wallace years, Lucille Ball was rumored to have been a guest. After Wallace and before Howser, only one owner occupied the home, British developer Richard Baily.  Bissner, who’s still in business at age 84, is known for his unique architecture of midcentury modern, post-and-beam and “pole house’’ (where the main vertical structure is comprised of telephone poles) motifs. His oeuvre has spanned England to Shanghai, and he’s designed private residences in Southern California and corporate headquarters and production facilities for Baskin-Robbins and restaurants for Lawry’s and Van de Kamp’s. (For example: The landmark 1967 Van de Kamp’s Windmill that sits on the corner of Huntington Drive and Santa Anita Avenue on Route 66 in Arcadia, Calif.—now occupied by a Denny’s—and is designed with an hexadecagon shell and folded plate roof.)

Bissner was not in the least daunted by the bizarre logistics of the “Cinder Cone” house project when first approached by Wallace, who was inspired by the design of the Edison Co. reception center at San Onofre, Calif. The semicircular Glulam beams supporting the structure were fabricated off site and, once erected, were connected with horizontal one-by-three-feet Douglas fir strips set on edge and toe nailed. Over this beehive-like framework was lathered a solution of elastomeric sealer embedded with perlite to form a well-insulated monolithic waterproof shell. The circular foundation and parabolic structure were anchored in the center by a fireplace that boasts a lot of concrete.

The structure offers two bedrooms and two bathrooms that create a loft-like effect, thanks to partial block walls and open space overhead. The natural gravitational center of the abode is the fireplace carved out of a stone cylinder and surrounded by a sunken conversation pit with Austin Powers-like commands. It’s right next to an equally open fully furnished kitchen that abounds in wood cabinetry.

The architectural tour de force, however, lies in the unencumbered 360 degrees of glass that creates an overhang, which partially shades the interior from the merciless desert sun. This sleek pad, which is about two hours from Las Vegas, is the perfect antidote to modern living (even the ubiquitous golden arches are nowhere to be found). It sits close enough to Interstate 15 (near Barstow) and is so devoid of all trappings that you can land there in a helicopter. The surrounding area offers quirky attractions, though (quite a few of them conveniently featured in a video by the owner, Road Trip With Huell Howser #107—Newberry Springs), including the Buffalo Ranch, Big Al’s Pistachio Ranch, the Ostrich Farm and especially the Bagdad Café, from the eponymous 1987 movie, a cult favorite of Euros.

So to all meditative moguls with a penchant for disciplined and daring architecture, raw helicopter landings, stupefying views and European flicks trivia, here’s your chance.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2011/10/19/cnnmoney-missle-silo-home-new-york.cnnmoney

“YOU DARE BRING LIGHT INTO MY LAIR?! YOU MUST DIE!”
~ Ganon on Evil Lair

An evil lair is a well hidden base from which an aspiring evil genius seeks to carry out his plans. A lair is typically staffed by a variety of henchmen and minions, who seek to serve their master, usually out of fear, greed or mind control.

The main feature of a typical evil lair is that it is secure. Examples include castles, dungeons, pits or fortresses of any description. Isolated volcanic islands are a favorite of the advanced evil geniuses, especially those with aspirations in rocketry.

This guide will aid you in real estate for evil lairs.
Castles

These creepy places look like Dracula lives there. Perfect place for trapdoors leading to mad scientist labs. Best to be made from stone or other crumbly, ancient material, moss and arachnids are a bonus, nothing gleaming or clean. The machinery must also be used and tarnished.

Henchmen don’t do as well here, just stick with a creepy butler or servant with a funny accent.
Dungeons

Dungeons are underground. They have loads of Flasks that usually hold some serious mead. These are just as old and crumbly as castles, and they don’t have too much machinery, preferring to use ancient torture methods of confinement instead.

Not too many of the henchmen will be seen, just the occasional guard and many, many monsters in labyrinths. Most of the machinery will be replaced with potions or other chemistry sets, nothing too technological will be in here.
Fortresses

Fortresses are the cream of the crop. These tend to be very secretive and are well adapted to whatever environment you build them in to coneal them. They are one of the few types of evil lairs where gleaming machinery and laboratories are not out-of-place, and they are usually constructed as laybrinths to confuse the heroes.

Remember to make sure the air shafts are always small enough so no hero-sized people can fit through them. And it must be well-lit, or you will never be able to work on your evil doom projects. If you are ardent about dark chambers, be sure to use blacklights.

Fortresses are the common choice of today’s modern villian. The models also come with quarters and recreation centers for your henchmen, because you need a large staff and you need to keep them happy to prevent rebellions.
Volcanic Islands

The rich, aspiring young genius with a near-infinite supply of cash in the form of two tons of gold bullion in a small time/space container that he/she had gained from their future successful self will love to purchase a small, private volcanic island. The best part about those is that they are small enough to mask from GPS’s and that they have enough solitary for the science guys to have some peace and quiet. And just in case your biological weaponry get out, the island is secluded enough for quarantine.

These are just an upgrade from the Fortresses. But they can prove as good things when you find out that they aren’t as easy to access for the heroes. It’s a mighty fine investment.
Secret laboratory

For the more pseudo-scientific of villains usually with warehouse scale storage space for dooms-day devices, an abundance of revolving walls, excessively long corridors with revolving yellow lighting, oversized diagonally aligned cargo-elevators and cylindrical vats of viscous green liquids; ripe for storage of genetic mutants, severed body parts or armies of clones. Easy access ramps for the disabled villain confined to hover-chair or giant robotic body. Automatic double-doors that go shwooosh. Pet sharks allowed: optional Lazors are to die for. Apply within; easily bypassed optical scanner and palm-print reader for the psychotically determined only.
Caves

Osama spends his time sitting and shitting in a cave and disperses occasional tapes telling you to bomb people, after casting his evil spell on you. Unfortunately, you cannot bomb a man in a cave, but he can bomb you.

Difficulty Rating – 10. Style Rating  – 10.  Flamboyant coloration Rating – 0.